Sunday was officially Schuyler’s #LifeDay and she and I shared yet another mother/ daughter dinner as we arrived in Orlando for 4 days of specialized therapy.
As I sit here in the screened porch of this lovely Air Bnb, I feel once again overwhelmed with awe and gratitude.
Hard to believe that it was seven years ago when that random boulder came plummeting off the side of a mountain in South America. It was a boulder that would have a profound “impact” on not only Schuy, but on me, our family and so many others.
It seems ironically poignant to remember that Schuy as a high school senior won Berkeley Prep’s first annual “Joie de Vivre” award. “The Joy of Living/ Being Alive.”
And I smile to think that “happiness” LITERALLY IS her middle name. She so embodies “Sachi “which means happiness in Japanese.
So here it is 7 years later. Schuy continues to hit milestone after milestone. She laughs that her milestones are what others would consider something mundane and small. In our world, it really IS about targeting the next 1%!
And yet, looking back, the compilation of “1%s” have lead to astronomical progress than many in the medical field predicted would be impossible.
Do I wish that we didn’t have to navigate some of the physical challenges?
Absolutely! And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I still tear up at times when I see her fighting so hard to see even small hints of progress. As her mom, you can imagine that there are moments when I so wish that I could wave a magic wand and allow her to get back to pursuing those “pre-boulder” dreams.
And yet, we must follow our own unique path toward whatever epic destiny lies ahead. There is still much to be learned, much iteration to be done and many, MANY more moments of awe to be created along the way.
Just because our path is not a “typical one” doesn’t mean that it’s not a mighty one. I sincerely believe that even with as much joy and grace that we have already been blessed with so far, the best years are yet to come.
I feel as if in a way, as “ready” as I thought that I was, both Schuy and I have simply been in that “getting to be ready” phase. It’s as if we have been turbo charging our engines and now we’re ready to unleash.
These past two nights — at Seasons 52 and around the Air bnb fire pit, my thoughts and appreciations were all about grasping the enormity of not only this miracle but also the potential that it brought with it.
I thought back upon our dinner Sunday when we chatted about a keynote that we’ve been invited to deliver together in September.
As I looked into the laughing eyes of my amazing child, it struck me once again that this boulder didn’t come to destroy US. It wasn’t here to rob us of our dreams and doom us to a life of future hardship.
No…It came to destroy the things that we had been using to hold us back. And it is giving us the chance to become a bigger, bolder version of ourselves than we might otherwise have had the courage to become.
Epic does often arrive disguised as the impossible!
To be honest, seven years ago I doubted my own self-worth. In spite of all my successes and gifts, I focused on all the areas of my life where I believed that I had fallen short.
I felt such shame around “my story”. I felt as if I had lost myself in a whirlwind of responsibilities, complex relationships, financial pressures and the list went on… I felt as if I was struggling to even know who I was.
And I wondered if I’d ever find my purpose and passion in my life. Never in a million years would I have guessed (or wished) that my ultimate “guru” would turn out to be this crazy rock.
Why do I share this?
One reason is because, although clearly what I’m sharing is Schuy’s and my story, I am sharing it not for sympathy (although we so appreciate the incredible love and warmth that our global family is ALWAYS sending our way). We share this because I believe that even though you may not literally have had a boulder crash into your life, we all have our variations of those big boulders.
In a way, our story is a metaphor for everyone’s story. And I believe that the underlying message is one of hope and possibility even in the midst of the “impossible”.
As my way of honoring my “guru”, every year at this time, I reflect on 3 of the biggest lessons that this boulder has taught me.
So here are some of my biggest “takeaways” from the past 12 months of iteration, growth and envisioning:
1) How well you learn to play the inner game defines how you experience every aspect of your life. Period. It’s not “hard”. It’s non-negotiable and an epic inner game is so much more than learning more “coping skills” or eternally “trying to look on the bright side.” It’s the skill that will differentiate whether we go through life “making a living” or feeling fully alive.
2) Those scars– those experiences that feel impossible to forgive or feel grateful for — ARE your differentiating factor. They bring “living color” to a world that otherwise is black and white. Your story including the “icky stuff” is your super power, not your kryptonite. No exceptions. Transforming your perspective on these events is the missing piece that we sometimes spend an entire life looking for.
3) You cannot miss the boat. You ARE the boat — but you do need to captain it. Believe that the epic-ness that you seek exists not in spite of the boulders but thanks to the bolder version of you that these boulders inspire you to become. Holding this truth close is freeing and allows you to choose to become the ultimate sovereign of your own potential and your own self worth.
So today, as you scurry about your business, perhaps stressing over some fleeting imperfection, I invite you to take a moment… breathe and savor… welcome in your own “Joie De Vivre” and celebrate this profound opportunity to come fully alive.
Make today (and every day) your “Coming Even More Alive” Day! #Booyah!
As for Schuy, she’ll be rocking it yet again with the team at NextStep! Wait until you see the latest videos! (And check out her bling shoes… wink!)
Me? I’m working on my next quick read book: 100 DAYS OF EPIC … wink! Quick little motivating pieces to help you guide your boat toward your own Land of Plenty.
This is YOUR life and transformation can be as simply as making a different choice — one that even you might find unexpected and remarkable.
Stay fearless! Unleash your EPIC!
Xoxo
Meridith Hankenson Alexander